The Unexpected Signs of Trauma in Daily Life
many sources, such as a car accident, parental abuse, or losing a loved one. Many people believe they’re fine after a traumatic incident, but a closer look at one’s daily life may reveal that they’re not coping as well as they may think. Many people think of trauma as panic attacks or triggering episodes, but symptoms can often be more subtle and significantly affect our ability to thrive.
Perfectionism
A subtle way trauma responses often manifest is through perfectionism. If you’re an overachiever or strive for perfection in work and personal life, it could be a sign of something deeper. When you aim for perfection, you’re kept busy, often keeping your deepest mental scars at bay. It’s also a way of taking control of situations you’re in. You’re less likely to be criticized when you aim so high, making you feel like you’re immune to harm. Perfectionism on its own doesn’t always indicate trauma. Still, it may be a good idea to seek out some mental healthcare, especially if your overachieving is causing burnout, stress, or impacting your personal life.
Sweating the Small Stuff
Often, those with unresolved trauma prefer to pretend that everything is fine. They’ll push away any negative emotions they feel in fear that it may unlock something deeper, like incredibly painful memories. Unfortunately, pushing away negative feelings doesn’t always get rid of them—they linger until they build up, and you can “burst” from the pressure. If you often react intensely to minor inconveniences, it could be a sign you’re not coping or processing your emotions as well as you could, which is very common in those with underlying trauma that needs addressing.
Constant Fatigue
Your mental health doesn’t just impact your brain. When trauma causes sadness, anger, or stress, your physical health can suffer as well. Those with anxiety, depression, trauma, or other mental health conditions will usually notice physical symptoms like fatigue, digestive problems, or even joint pain. Stress causes inflammation and immune system issues that can make us sick or cause our body to attack itself. If you’re tired all the time for no reason, it’s likely for a reason. Even if you don’t have a physical illness, you could be dealing with poor mental health.
Putting Off Social Affairs
It can be very painful to relive traumatic memories or feelings. Many people will emotionally detach or numb themselves to prevent this pain, but it can make it difficult to enjoy the finer things in life, like hobbies or friendships. If your friendships or relationships have been failing due to a lack of attention on your part, your emotional unavailability could be the cause. You may skip parties or social affairs due to your detachment. Your current friendships may become distant, or you may have trouble making any new bonds, especially if trauma stemmed from a previous friendship or romantic relationship. While detachment can put off experiencing negative or painful feelings, it can isolate you and make bad feelings worse.
People-Pleasing
Some trauma survivors may deal with the opposite of detachment. They may become overly involved in making others happy to avoid future abuse, harm, or rejection, even if imaginary. Trauma may cause fears of abandonment, especially when it comes to parental or childhood trauma. When you don’t set boundaries, you may falsely believe that no one will ever leave or hurt you. In a healthy relationship, it’s important to have boundaries. When you don’t set them, you can open yourself up to further trauma! Those with good intentions will want you to say ‘no’ and set boundaries when needed.
Memory or Focus Problems
Trauma can often cause lapses or detachment from certain memories. Surrounding or related memories can frequently become locked up with it, resulting in forgetfulness or memory problems. Stress or depression can also cause brain fog, impacting the ability to remember or focus well. Mental health and cognitive function go hand in hand, and underlying trauma can affect how our brain functions.
Too Much Independence
Trauma can significantly impact our personal relationships. When one or more people hurt us, it can sometimes cause us to mistrust or detach from every person, despite positive intentions. If you’re overly independent or feel you can only rely on yourself, you may have experienced trauma that caused you to lose trust or faith in someone else. A certain level of independence is good and healthy for a fulfilling life, but a lack of social connection can also lead to stress, depression, or dissatisfaction in life.
Avoidance
While dodging social affairs is one example of avoidance, trauma can influence survivors to avoid many situations that may cause anxiety or trigger painful memories. You may not even be able to remember or figure out why you’re avoiding a certain person, place, or activity. Other times, it’s more obvious. You could avoid an abusive parent’s house, street, or neighborhood. In many cases, avoidance can prevent you from moving on or taking action against those responsible. You may even avoid pursuing legal help after an abusive relationship to avoid painful memories. Legal action can help immensely with closure and safety. The sooner you contact law enforcement or legal services like the Injury Lawyer Team, the better your chances of success in bringing those responsible to justice, if applicable. Working with a mental health professional can help you identify avoidant behaviors and address them. Overcoming avoidant behaviors can also allow you to live your life to the fullest.
Conclusion
Trauma is a very common condition; in fact, around 70% of U.S. adults have experienced some type of traumatic event at least once in their lives. While these events can be incredibly distressing and life-altering, they’re not a death sentence. Healing is possible, and it’s vital to learn how to live with trauma in a way that allows you to flourish and thrive. Mental healthcare can provide you with the tools you need to keep trauma at bay and live your life to its fullest.