Why Some Stress Feels Harder to Let Go Of
You’re driving to work when someone cuts you off. You honk, yell, get mad, and 3 hours later, you’re still arguing with that jerk who doesn’t know how to drive. Meanwhile, your friend was in the same situation a few days ago and hardly batted an eyelash. They muttered something under their breath, but after 30 minutes, the only reaction that was left was ‘Meh’.
Stress is a pretty weird thing.
Something totally stupid could happen to you that has hardly any effect on your life, but you could be stuck in the loop of reliving that moment for a while.
It makes no sense.
Why Some Experiences Refuse to Go Away
Your brain does a lot, but it really has 1 job – to keep you safe. That’s all.
In order to do that, though, it works a lot.
It’s constantly checking what’s around you and how your internal state is to figure out if everything’s okay. It’s like the most vigilant security guard ever. If things are fine, then it relaxes a bit. If they’re not, it’s always on alert and keeps going back to the thing that’s bothering you to check on it.
This is what happens when you go through something stressful.
What happened is over, but it’s like your brain didn’t get the memo. If it hasn’t been resolved, it stays active in your mind because your brain hates when things are left hanging in the air. It likes predictability and closures, so when it doesn’t get that, it goes a bit wild. The stress you feel days or weeks after probably isn’t coming from what happened but from the loose ends your brain is desperately trying to tie up.
Those loose ends don’t even have to be emotional. They can be practical, as well.
Take a car accident, for example.
The crash itself takes seconds, but what happens next can drag on and on. Doctor visits, insurance, bills, and all of that keep reminding you that the situation isn’t done yet. Every one of those tasks is like a little ping that reminds the brain of what happened and why it has to keep the experience fresh in your mind.
Practical loose ends on the other hand are easier to deal with; especially if you live in a big city.
It's much easier to get the medical attention you want, as well as legal support, when you have plenty to choose from. Plus, it’s easier to get in touch with a Nashville accident attorney, for instance, than it is with one in Ruso.
You simply have more options, and that alone can take some of the weight off your back.
How to Process Stress Better
Some people make the mistake of trying to forget what happened in order to relieve stress, but that’s the wrong way of dealing with things. That’s not even realistic, let alone effective.
What you actually need to do is to help your brain understand that whatever happened is now over and buzzing about it incessantly isn’t doing anyone any favors.
Break It Up Into Smaller Pieces
When you look at a situation as one big mess, it looks intimidating.
It’s one giant problem as far as your brain is concerned, and it doesn’t even know where to start dealing with it. So, the trick is to simply stop looking at it like one big blob of stress. Instead, break it into pieces.
Ask yourself what the one thing you can do today to make it easier. It could be as small as writing down a list of questions you want answers to.
Separate What You Can Control From What You Can’t
There’s no way to change some things, yet most people stress over them.
The fix is to just… well, it’s to just stop.
Look at the situation and ask which part of it is under your control. Then, put all your focus on that and let the rest go. Worrying about it is a waste of time and energy anyway.
When you concentrate on things you can control in some way, your brain gets the hint that things are manageable.
Create Conditions That Tell the Brain You’re Safe
Your brain pays attention to everything, from where you are to whether you’re hungry or not.
If you’re exhausted, your brain is much more likely to see everything as a threat.
So, take care of the basics, like regular sleep, exercise, eating on time, etc. That’ll tell your brain you’re safe, and even though a sandwich can’t solve a work problem that’s stressing you out, your brain will have an easier time processing and letting go.
Conclusion
When stress keeps lingering long after the situation is over, your brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. It’s not exactly pleasant, but it helps to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. Still, you should try to help the poor guy out because he’s clearly not having any success so far.
Try looking at what’s keeping this thing alive in your head.
Lack of control? Not knowing how it’s going to turn out? Is it something you’ve been avoiding but has to be done eventually?
Once you figure that out, you have a much better shot of letting it go.
