Why Do Men Avoid Therapy?

Knowing that the suicide rate among men is four times higher than that of women, it’s clear to see that many men struggle with their mental health. However, women are more likely to receive mental health treatment, such as therapy, than men. It begs the question: why do men avoid therapy? Some of these factors could come into play: 

Gender and Culture Norms

Many men are more likely to talk about receiving permanent male enhancement surgery than going to therapy. They have masculine ideals and are taught from a young age that real men are strong and self-reliant. To seek therapy would be to admit weakness or failure. 

Emotional suppression is also a cultural norm. ‘Man up,’ and ‘don’t cry’ are two phrases that many men are told more than women. While this, of course, isn’t true of all men, there are gender and cultural norms at play that make them believe they are incompatible with therapy services. 

Fear of Judgment 

There is certainly a stigma around mental health services. Men can be worried about their friends, family members, and even their coworkers thinking they are crazy, weak, and unstable for seeking professional mental health support. Yet, the stigma isn’t all social. Men can experience internalized stigma, where they feel embarrassment and shame for needing help.

With this battle going on inside their minds, it can seem easier not to seek help at all. Unfortunately, this often means that men are dealing with their mental health issues by themselves, and not everyone makes it out alive.  

Different Coping Styles

Men and women often cope with everyday stresses differently. While many women talk, reflect, and practice emotional openness, some men cope with stress through distraction and action. Gaming, working, exercising, and even drinking are preferred over actually working through problems in a therapeutic setting. 

Unfortunately, despite distraction being a protective tool for managing anxiety, stress, grief, and other mental health challenges, it isn’t always helpful. Its efficacy relies on you to be acceptant, rather than avoidant. 

Beliefs of Ineffectiveness 

Some men see therapy as just ‘talking about problems’ rather than finding concrete solutions for them. This thought process often stems from being told to man up and handle their problems themselves. 

However, what they may not realize is that there’s more to mental health services than talk therapy. Many men benefit from coaching-style treatment, also known as psychological coaching, which is a goal-driven approach to help people achieve their personal and professional goals, rather than treating mental health disorders and addressing trauma. 

Fear of Change

If you think you’ve been coping just fine with your mental health problems and history of trauma, therapy can be a scary prospect. Many men fear uncovering trauma they’ve tucked away to deal with at a later date. There can also be a sense of nervousness around dealing with problems that may lead to personality changes, whether they’re beneficial or not. 

Not all men avoid therapy, but many do for reasons such as not believing it will help, thinking it will change who they are, and fear of being judged. However, knowing how much value it can bring to men and women alike, it’s worth exploring.