What To Do When Someone Close To You Experiences A Traumatic Event
I can understand it must be difficult for you to see them suffer as they navigate their lives under stress or crisis without knowing what to do. Your friend or loved one is going through a tragedy that may make them feel helpless or overwhelmed. Because of the way life is, we all occasionally go through traumatic experiences. They just happen, even though we don't intend for them too. And you've realized that it's crucial to know what to do to support a friend or close family member in the aftermath of a distressing event.
You'll feel uncertain and perplexed in this situation, and you might not know how to act or what to say to offer assistance. Your loved one has, in some way, had their power unfairly taken away. It is not your responsibility to restore their power; instead, you should be there for them as they work diligently to do so.
Consider these strategies whenever someone close to you suffers a trauma:
1. Use your past knowledge of the person. Is he usually quiet? Does she talk your ears off normally? Consider how they might respond to the troubling event they've recently experienced.
You can be more ready to be the best friend you can be to your cherished loved one by anticipating how your friend will act. Remind them that their voice still has influence, and support what they say even when they are in pain. By acknowledging the hurt and highlighting their own personal coping mechanisms, you can help validate and give voice to your loved one's concerns. When they talk, pay attention to what they say and react to the effort they make in speaking again since you know your individual well enough to recognize that silence is not usual.
2. Be supportive. When you're near the person, think about what you could do to help them the most. Focus your efforts. Do they usually enjoy going for a walk or out to coffee? Maybe they've always loved going to lunch at a particular restaurant. You can be supportive by inviting your friend to do things they enjoy.
If she doesn't seem interested, think about having her over for a peaceful dinner and movie night at your house. Your friend might find that coming to your house is a more comforting and manageable experience than going out. Even if there are no big preparations in place, let your friend know that they are secure with you. Your friend will eventually realize that they are able to feel at ease with themselves as someone who is experiencing emotional distress once more.
Permit your cherished to proceed at his own pace. He must go through with his journey however he chooses. In the long run, he will feel whole again when slow and steady wins the race.
3. Acknowledge to your friend that you're sorry about what happened to them. Sometimes, a statement as simple as, "I'm so sorry this happened to you" can be all that's necessary to give your friend the opportunity to talk openly about how they feel.
Giving your friend a simple "sorry" and acknowledging that you understand that he has had a significant life event is also very essential. By doing this, you'll be at least one step closer to demonstrating that you're eager to learn about his feelings. You also provide him the chance to experience empathy from you by letting him know that you understand that his suffering is real and important.
4. Tell your friend you'll be there for them at any time. Make it clear your friend is free to call you or drop by your home whenever he feels like it. Even though it might take some effort on your part to be on standby for them, later on, you'll be glad you did.
Make every effort to help him however you can. By actively looking for methods to assist, you have played a significant role in preparing yourself to be receptive to her thoughts, sobs, and concerns as they emerge. Being explicit about the time and place you can meet with them might be helpful but granting access to you and keeping to it will convey confidence and stability in you as their trusted friend.
5. Call your friend more frequently than usual to check in with them. Share information about your day or what you've been doing. Talk about the book you're reading or how your kids are doing in school. Hopefully, your friend will do the same. Be positive.
By doing this action, your friend's life will start to return to normal, which is normally appreciated in light of the extraordinary trauma they've lately encountered. She lives in your world, while you live in hers. Continue to live life together and communicate frequently while keeping in mind what a new normal can entail.
6. Listen. Many times, someone who's gone through a troubling time simply wants to talk about it. It's not even necessary to comment or give your opinion of what your friend has been through. As long as you're listening, they know you care.
Memories have a major impact on how effectively he manages his trauma. Being patient with him as he attempts to express emotional pain or even physical harm that can be seen or unseen is important since the more traumatic the experience, the more disorganized his thoughts may be. Evidence-based research has been done on how stress affects memory and how the brain reacts to it. Don't get caught up in the details at first because she might not be able to explain herself. Instead, pay attention to them and show her you care by giving her a soft hug or keeping friendly eye contact when she talks about a trying situation. She may find comfort in your company and your nonverbal cues.
7. Have patience. Because your friend might not recover in the same way that you would or that you expect him to, patience will come in handy. There's no defined timeline for getting over a traumatic event. Therefore, having patience will enable your friend to re-blossom at a pace necessary for him.
It could take a long time for someone you care about to fully heal from a traumatic occurrence. However, you may be a fantastic source of encouragement for your friend as they eventually reintegrate into society. To be there for her while she adjusts to her new normal and to rejoice with her as she realizes the strength she has always possessed.
The straightforward measures listed above can help you give your friend the unique support they require to proceed through life comfortably. When you extend a helping hand to a loved one who is in need, your presence, optimism, self-assurance, and sense of fulfillment will flourish. If you find yourself needing support from a traumatic event or wanting to further support a friend, schedule a free session today at Sunshine City Counseling.
