You can do it: Understanding and overcoming low self esteem
Low self-esteem can often be traced back to childhood. For those who had a difficult upbringing or suffered through a traumatic event, low self-esteem is fairly common. However, it's possible to develop self-esteem issues in adulthood as well.
When you go through a difficult time, it can affect the way you see yourself. For example, if you are unemployed, go through a divorce, or file bankruptcy, you may internalize these negative experiences and believe that it's your fault and that you caused these bad things to happen. If you’re a parent and you have a child that has some significant behavioral struggles, this too can become a spot where you feel “less than.”
Lets talk about the steps you can take to overcome low self-esteem:
1. Surround yourself with positive people and remove the negative ones from your life.
Spending time with those who are negative will only reinforce your low opinion of yourself. It's better to surround yourself with individuals who are supportive and encouraging. If you're fortunate enough to have positive influences in your life, listen to them when they say you've done a good job. Receive it. Hold it instead of pushing it away. Also! Be curious about what might be coming up for you in wanting to resist their compliment or positivity.
2. Avoid telling yourself you "should have," "could have," or "would have."
If you're constantly telling yourself "I could have done this," or "I should have done that," you're focusing on things that have already happened and that you're unable to change. It's better to look to the future and say, "Next time I'll do this," or "I'm going to do that." How will you show up differently next time? If you’re constantly looking at things that have already happened, you automatically rob yourself of power to do anything in the present or future.
3. Set reasonable expectations. Accept that human beings make mistakes.
If you're unwilling to accept anything less than perfection from yourself, you'll feel completely discouraged when you inevitably make a mistake. Avoid letting mistakes get you down. Remember that every mistake you make is a chance to learn and grow, it is an invitation and an opportunity. Rigidity will not keep you growing, it will keep you static and fixed in the position that feels most comfortable.
4. Recognize and celebrate your accomplishments.
If your self-esteem is lacking, you might spend a lot of time focusing on the negative. Acknowledge your accomplishments and allow yourself to be happy. It's okay to be proud of yourself.
5. Volunteer for a charitable organization.
Working to help others will make you feel good about yourself and help boost your self-esteem. It's difficult to have a poor opinion of yourself when you're supporting a good cause. Sometimes, we need to move our eyes eyes up and out
6. Consider seeking professional help.
In many instances, low self-esteem can have a negative impact on a person's life and mental health. A person with very low self-esteem may have issues in their relationships, trouble in their careers, or a number of other challenges. Sometimes self esteem issues can lead to anxiety, social withdrawal, depression, or even suicide.
If low self-esteem is causing chaos in your work and personal life, you may want to consider seeing a therapist for additional help. They can provide you with additional strategies for increasing your self-esteem. A therapist may even be able to help you deal with the underlying issues that caused your low self-esteem in the first place.
There are many factors which can cause or contribute to low self-esteem. The key is to figure out how to overcome your low self-esteem and start feeling good about yourself again. If we can be of assistance in this process, we would love to support you. Get to know the clinical counseling team at Sunshine City Counseling and schedule your free session today!
