Parenting Tip: How To Stay Calm In Conflict With Your Kid

First and foremost, staying calm protects your relationship with your child. Staying calm helps you as a parent or caregiver to deal with challenging situations while not creating a negative or potentially traumatic situation for your child. Still, it can be difficult to keep your cool around the clock. That’s especially true when you face additional pressures such as pandemic related stressors or personal stressors.

As a parent or caregiver, many of us may wonder, What’s the secret to remaining poised when your child throws a tantrum at the supermarket? How about when they start hanging out with a friend who may be a not-so-good influence?

From the perspective of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all connected. It is difficult to change our thoughts and feelings, but our behaviors can be a good place to start. You can create a sense of calm in your family dynamic; try these tips:

Strategies for Staying Calm in Everyday Life:

Consider the reasons. Do you assume that your child is trying to undermine you? In reality, they may be too young to think through any complicated actions. Even older children may be more preoccupied with dealing with their own issues rather than opposing you.

Make rules. Many standoffs can be avoided by setting ground rules in advance. For example, agree to a family technology contract instead of arguing about texting or screentime during each meal.

Remove temptations. Try to childproof your surroundings. Put fragile items out of reach. Lockup liquor and medications. Put personal items away.

Supply distractions. Be realistic about young attention spans. Run errands on your own or in the early morning when stores are less crowded. Bring toys and videos along for long car rides.

Take time to yourself. Step away if you feel like you’re becoming frustrated. Take time to yourself by going to the bathroom. Breathe deeply or go for a walk around the block. You’ll be less likely to say something you may regret. Ask for help supervising your children if available.

Build bonds. It will be easier to handle mishaps if you have a strong and close relationship. Spend time with your kids one-on-one and as a family. Share their interests and pay attention to what they have to say.

Practice self-care. You’ll also feel more stable when you eat healthy, work out, and sleep well. Ensure that your children are getting adequate sleep too.

Seek professional help. A therapist can provide additional coping strategies if you’re struggling with staying calm. Ask your doctor or trusted friends for referrals. The counselors at Sunshine City Counseling is always here to help.

Communication is a huge part of human behavior. Be mindful of these tips when trying to create a calm environment.

Communication Strategies for Staying Calm:

Lower your voice. Your child is more likely to listen if you speak softly. Be firm but kind.

Validate and empathize. Try to see the situation from your child’s perspective even when you disagree. Let them know that you care about their feelings.

Keep it simple. Use language that your child can understand. Stick to one message at a time.

Focus on teaching. Discipline is more about instruction than correction. Ask yourself what you want your child to learn.

Repeat yourself. Be prepared to go over the same material many times. Repetition helps small children to feel secure and master new tasks.

Encourage cooperation. Work as a team. Ask your child to assist you and present them with choices. Tell them you appreciate their setting the table when you have to work late.

Laugh. Humor can lighten things up. It’s okay to use your children for entertainment as long as you guide them towards becoming responsible adults.

Offer praise. Notice the things your children do well. Express your gratitude. Tell them that you’re proud of them for studying hard and sharing their toys with their baby brother.

Your kids will still lose their backpacks and share embarrassing information with your neighbors. However, skillful planning and communication can minimize conflicts and help you to collaborate with your child during stressful times. Parenting is easier and more effective when you can stay calm — it gives them an anchor to come back to. We’re here to help, schedule a free first session.

Supporting You,