Say Goodbye To Off And On Relationships

From Shakespeare to SitComs, audiences love to cheer on couples who struggle to stay together. Overcoming feuding families, treacherous old flames, and conflicting emotions makes for an intriguing story. However, in real life, tumultuous relationships can take a heavy toll on your wellbeing and happiness.

A recent study by the University of Missouri concludes that cyclical toxic relationships have a negative impact on a person’s mental health and wellbeing. They found that couples who make up and break up repeatedly experience higher rates of abuse, poorer communication, and lower levels of commitment.

If you feel stuck in a cyclical relationship, you are not alone. There are many things you can do to implement positive changes in your life. Try these tips for building a more sustainable connection or making a clean break.

How To Stabilize Your Off-and-On Relationship

Some cyclical relationships are worth saving. Determine if you and your partner have the potential to develop a more harmonious future together.

1. Identify what you want- Temporary separations can sometimes be beneficial. That’s especially true when you discuss the arrangements with your partner and make conscious plans for using your time apart to address recurring issues and focus on your own growth.

2. Resolve conflicts- Do you or your partner respond to disagreements by withdrawing instead of talking with each other? Handling conflicts directly and as soon as possible after they occur will help you learn to compromise and cooperate with each other.

3. Build communication skills- Communication is vital to any relationship, and you can enhance your skills at any age. Practice how to listen attentively, use collaborative language, and discuss sensitive subjects.

4. Practice basic self care- A healthy relationship starts with making yourself a top priority. Managing your diet, exercise, and sleep can improve your mental health and thus make you more willing and able to work on a relationship with another person.

5. Maintain your identity- While your partner can be an important source of strength and support, it’s important to take responsibility for yourself. Stay connected with your family, friends, and hobbies and hold yourself accountable for the consequences of your actions.

6. Seek counseling- Relationship counseling can give you new insights and options on how to deal with issues you find challenging. You may deepen your understanding of your relationship and yourself.

Ending a Cyclical Relationship

On the other hand, you and your partner may be fundamentally incompatible. Recognize when it’s time to move on and look for love elsewhere.

1. Evaluate your situation- Be honest about whether your relationship can fulfill your needs. Breaking up can sometimes be the kindest thing you can do for yourself and your partner.

2. Think long term- It may seem easier to stay together for now but imagine what your life will be like if you continue on the same path. When you feel sad about saying goodbye, consider the advantages of having less stress in your life and being able to pursue other opportunities.

3. Accept responsibility- Ending a relationship can provide valuable life lessons. Recognize your part in what happened and identify patterns that you want to change.

4. Take your time- Being prepared can help. Rehearse what you might say to your partner. Reach out to supportive friends and plan activities that will help you to get through the first stages of your separation.

5. Be respectful- Remember that this is a difficult time for your partner as well as yourself. Try to terminate the relationship in a way that will cause as little tension as possible. It usually helps to talk face to face and give them a chance to express their feelings too.

You deserve a committed and loving relationship that strengthens your sense of security and gives you a partner to help you manage the ups and downs in life. Start by making an intentional choice to improve your current relationship or make a clean break and give each other the opportunity to have some space. Either way, only you can know what will be best for you. I’m here to support you in whatever way would be most helpful, feel free to schedule a free first session.

Cheering You On,