What Kids Want Parents to Know about Oversharing on Social Media
It is not uncommon for parents to want to show off their kids! First of all, you made them who they are (duh!) and secondly, they may be out here doing the most and nailing this teenage thing- it is not wild for you, as the parent, to be proud! But, this begs the question, how much is too much when it comes to showing off your kiddos to your friends on social media?
In a recent study, researchers at the Universities of Michigan and Washington asked kids what they thought about their parent's social media activity and their rules about technology. One major concern was "sharenting." I’m sure you’re wondering what the heck that means! Well, I’m happy to tell you that the answer is simple: Sharenting is when parents talk too much about their fabulous kiddos on social media sites like Facebook. Though it is almost never done with ill intent, the point is that parents may be posting pictures and sharing information about their child without the child's permission.
This may not seem like a big deal, right? After all, you have raised them to this point, you have been in charge of all of your child’s decisions thus far, you probably have the ability to decide what is deemed sharable or not… but, what you may not have considered is that social media is perceived much differently from the lenses of a teenager than it may be from the lens of an adult. Though you can teach a teen how to deal with the negative opinions of others, they may not have the skills to block that out just yet. This will inhibit a relationship that devalues trust and transparency, making it more difficult to have true meaningful conversations with your child- especially if they worry that you will share their new thoughts with the internet.
Want to know more about what your kids are thinking? Here are some tips for parents on how to avoid “sharenting” for their kids!
Tips for Overcoming Parental Oversharing or “Sharenting”
Modern children understand the importance of controlling their online image. Pictures and stories that seem cute now could have unwanted consequences in years ahead if they cause bullying at school or make a potential employer think twice about scheduling an interview.
1. Ask first. Your kids are a big part of your life, but they own their own experiences. Get their permission before posting anything about them. Let them make the final decision once they're old enough to understand the situation, which is usually around age 9. Younger than you’d think, I know!
2. Think positive. As you might expect, posting good grades and sports victories is more popular than mentioning eating disorders and messy bedrooms. Deal with sensitive issues privately to increase trust and build a healthy space for difficult or uncomfortable conversations.
3. Examine your motives. Be honest about why you're posting. Are you proud of your kids and wanting them to receive praise or are you hoping to receive some validation yourself? Raising kids is hard, there is nothing wrong with looking for a pat on the back as long as your kiddo is okay with it!
4. Seek support. Of course, many parents were attracted to the internet in the first place because they're looking for information and encouragement from their peers. Your peers may not always have the best intentions or know what is best for you, though. Look for that support in people you talk to regularly and trust.
5. Resist competition. Do you sometimes feel inferior to parents who brag about cooking gourmet meals ,and struggling to find room for their kid's academic and sports trophies? A little humility can help everyone feel more comfortable. What people write online often says a lot more about them, then it does about you!
Other Technology Tips for Parents
In addition to cutting back on sharenting, here are some other ways to improve communication and inhibit better relationships with your kids…
1. Create quiet zones. Turn off your devices at the dinner table and a couple of hours before bedtime. Spending time talking to each other in the same room or sitting together while you read or work on hobbies tremendously improves a child’s likelihood of coming to you if they are having a problem or sharing good news that they may have.
2. Drive safely. Children will copy your habits. Texting while driving is a major distraction. Even hands-free devices interfere with your concentration. Make your time in the car a safe space for children to ask questions or to jam out to their favorite tunes.
3. Aim for balance. Is technology crowding out other priorities in your life? Putting sensible limits on browsing and streaming frees up time for visiting the gym, taking long walks, or planning fun family outings.
4. Simplify enforcement. Make your rules easy to follow. There may be sites you want to ban completely, at least until your kids reach an appropriate age. Discuss your reasoning so kids can start learning to make sound decisions for themselves.
5. Be present. Focus on enjoying family time rather than recording it. Applauding your child at the school play is more important than experimenting with camera angles. Plus, there is definitely someone else recording!
The Internet has made it easier to embarrass your kids now that you're no longer limited to photo albums and baby books. Be a parent who uses social media responsibly. Do your best to think about the long-term impact of your pictures and comments. For more parenting advice or any other guidance, schedule your first free session at SCC.
Supporting You,
