How To Build Rock Solid Friendships

Friendships are one of the most important relationships we have as human beings. Without friends, we might feel lonely, rejected, and left out. Even in a marriage, we need separate friends outside of the relationship to fulfill our social needs or help us through difficult situations.

Building friendships takes loyalty, trust, and honesty and it can take several months or years to build an authentic, lasting friendship.

Quality Over Quantity

Most adults maintain friendships with a handful of people at most. The truth is, a friendship is about quality, not quantity. Being surrounded by many people may feel comforting to some, but it is not as easy to be fully authentic with that many people. It is okay to have friends as well as acquaintances (people we are not as close with). When a friendship is truly rock-solid, the people are authentic and vulnerable with each other; there are no facades and no secrets. There is trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty and this comes with time as a friendship grows.

The Friendly Sacrifice

Being a good friend requires sacrifice. One of our friends may need us when it's not so convenient for us, like in the middle of the night. In a rock-solid friendship, this would involve sacrificing a good night's sleep in a nice, warm bed in order to be there for our friend. Depending on the situation, this might be no big deal but there are other small sacrifices or compromises to be mindful of.

Give and Take

In a rock-solid friendship, it is important to keep in mind the concept of give and take. Sometimes we feel generous and give more than we receive. Other times we are the ones receiving as it is okay and necessary to ask for help sometimes. Forgiveness and understanding help friends communicate better and get to know each other more thoroughly. Forgiveness means that you let go of any malice or grudges and you move forward at peace with one another. Understanding comes from knowing your friend inside and out - knowing where they're coming from and knowing what they're going through. Communication means that you connect with your friend with an overall understanding of his or her relating style.

Making New Friends

You may have met or been introduced to someone new. How exciting! Try to figure out what you have in common by asking open-ended questions like “how do you know our friend____?”

With each encounter you have, your relationship grows and strengthens. Then as you continue to get to know one another, the communication gets easier and you become more comfortable with each other. The key here is that it takes time to build any relationship. If you try to force it, you may make the other person feel uncomfortable and threatened, so take turns initiating plans.

Showing Your True Colors

As the friendship continues to blossom, casual friends build trust and loyalty through both the peaks and valleys of life. However, it's in the difficult times that a person's true colors are revealed. When you're going through a tragedy, a personal crisis, or simply a rough patch, it is the rock-solid friends that are there to help lift you back up.

Friends Help Friends Grow

True friends help each other grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. A true friendship requires both unconditional love as well as tough love.

Building a rock-solid friendship takes time, but is so worth it. Once you're in a rock-solid friendship with someone, you will know who you can trust. Neither distance, nor hard times can spoil a truly rock-solid friendship. If you’re interested in working through your attachment(s) to others and how you can show up more authentically in your relationships, schedule a free session and lets explore these things together.

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